Anticipatory grief: how to manage grief before death

Caregivers, family or friends of those dying are most often affected. The grief can be heightened by illness, uncertainty, monetary issues and the burden of caregiving.

Those who have a terminal illness, those who are in a warzone, or those who are of a certain age, can also feel grief for events they won't be around for or lost opportunities they will miss.

Someone who is about to lose a job, get divorced or have a scheduled mastectomy may suffer from anticipatory grief, which can result in fear of a big, uncertain change.

Feelings of anxiety are synonymous with anticipation, therefore feeling anxiety when anticipating grief is very common and natural. Anxiety is often intertwined with worry and can cause strong feelings in the body.

It's common to have a strong sense of dread in this type of situation. Dread comes from thinking negatively about the future, which is perfectly reasonable when the future looks a little sad or bleak.

Guilt is commonly felt during periods of all types of grief. Sometimes we feel like we could do more or we could've been nicer to the person who has died or is dying while they were fully on their feet.

It's hard not to feel overwhelmed in situations like these. It's easy for things to feel like they're getting on top of us when there's such sadness around us and so much to think about.

When someone is dying or something is inevitably reaching the end, there is little we can do but watch on, and therefore it's common to feel a sense of hopelessness or helplessness.

Fear is very much intertwined with anxiety, but whereas anxiety comes from anticipation, fear is associated with a real impending threat, which is common in anticipatory grief.

Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions without judgement. Suppressing your feelings can make them more intense and harder to manage. Talk to someone you trust about what you are going through, whether it’s a friend, family member, or mental health professional.

Lean on your support network during this time. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others who care about you can provide comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. Support groups for people experiencing anticipatory grief can also be a valuable resource.

If possible, have open and honest conversations with your loved one. Discuss your feelings, share memories, and express your love and gratitude. These conversations can provide emotional relief and help create meaningful moments together.

Caring for your physical and emotional well-being is crucial during this time. Ensure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you are struggling to cope.

Spend quality time with your loved one and create lasting memories. This can involve simple activities such as talking, looking through photo albums, or doing something they enjoy. These moments can bring comfort and a sense of peace.

Preparing for the inevitable can provide a sense of control and reduce anxiety. This might include discussing funeral plans, legal matters, and other practical arrangements. Knowing that these details are taken care of can bring peace of mind.

Whether you're considering a hospice for your loved one or you're looking at organising the funeral, it's worthwhile making arrangements as early as possible.

It's never a nice feeling thinking about your own death, but most of us have plans regarding what will happen to our estate and what will happen at our funeral.

Whether you're planning for yourself or someone else, funeral plans allow you to cement the funeral arrangements at a less stressful time, and cover the costs in monthly instalments.

It’s the phone call you never want to hear, but receiving news of a loved one’s death in a care home is a very real possibility. Similarly to a death at home, you should always be aware of the steps you need to take in these circumstances and have a plan in place for an expected death in a care home.

When someone dies in a hospital, there will be professionals on hand to help you navigate your loss and guide you through what to do next. There are a number of different steps to take when someone dies in a hospital, and these steps differ from when someone dies at home or in a care home.

When living with a loved one expected to pass away at home or in their sleep, knowing what to do can be especially difficult without a plan of action in place. We always recommend preparing for the expected death at home as early as possible in order to make the funeral process run as smoothly as possible.

It’s an unfortunate reality that when someone dies, there are legal formalities that need to be completed shortly after. While these can feel like the last thing you want to be doing at a time of mourning, they’re a necessary step before you can start making funeral arrangements.

The costs involved with paying for a funeral can vary depending on the type of funeral you choose, but the role of a funeral director or funeral provider is to guide you through the process. Knowing a little more about paying for a funeral can help to set your mind at ease about what to expect.

Discover how funeral plans work, their key features, and the benefits they offer. A funeral plan can offer peace of mind by covering future funeral costs and sparing your loved ones from financial stress during a difficult time. This guide will help you understand if a funeral plan is right for you.