The death anniversary of a loved one holds different meanings for everyone, and can be celebrated or commemorated in different ways depending on your background, culture, or religion.
In this article, we'll look at what a death anniversary is, ways to commemorate a death anniversary, death anniversary quotes, words of comfort on the death anniversary, and much more.
A death anniversary, sometimes referred to as a deathday, is the anniversary of the death of a person.
In the UK there is no formal tradition when it comes to commemorating the death anniversary of a loved one. However most families like to do something to keep their loved one's memory alive.
Below we'll look at some of the ways people commemorate their loved one, which could be something as simple as getting the family together, going for a nice meal and raising a glass to their beloved. Or doing something more formal such as planting a memorial tree.
We'll look at those options and much more below.
In some religions like Hinduism, Buddhism and Judaism it is customary to observe the death anniversary of a loved one with a memorial service, while in Catholic tradition a celebration of mass is often held on the nearest Sunday to the deathday.
In the UK, we used to commemorate a loved one's death 3, 7 and 30 days as well as 1 year after their death, yet that tradition died out in the Middle Ages. Now, there is no custom or tradition. However, many families find comfort and relief from honouring their loved one on the date that they died.
If you think you'd benefit from honouring your loved one in a similar way, here are a few practical ideas that may help with some inspiration.
Planting a tree in memory of your loved one can act as a living tribute that grows with time. Each year, you can visit, reflect, and watch the tree flourish as a symbol of their enduring presence in your life.
Writing a letter to your loved one allows you to express feelings, memories, or updates you wish to share. This practice can be a comforting way to maintain a connection, making their presence feel close on their death anniversary.
Visiting their resting place offers a moment of quiet reflection, where you can feel close to them. Many find comfort in bringing flowers, sitting in peace, or speaking their thoughts and memories aloud in this sacred space.
Commemorating with family and friends offers support and shared memories. Gathering together allows everyone to honour your loved one’s legacy, exchange stories, and remember the good times that brought joy to all.
Looking through a memory box filled with cherished mementos can be a beautiful way to remember. Each item holds a story, and revisiting them allows you to relive happy memories and feel their presence on this special day.
Returning to a place that held significance for your loved one brings back shared memories. This visit can be a way to feel connected to them, in a familiar setting that holds special moments of your time together.
We all deal with grief and death in very different ways. As outlined in the 5 stages of grief model, it’s common to experience grief in stages and to feel different emotions from one day to the next.
For some people, spending time with close family and friends is how we want to commemorate our loved one - surrounded by their comforting familiarity, we can feel loved, prized and held. And sometimes that's just what we need when we're feeling down or feeling a little existential.
But other people may find relief in solitude and being alone with their own thoughts. This can be a great comfort for some, as the buzz of everyone's energy can feel unnerving.
We are all so different. Some of us are introverts, some of us are extroverts, and all of us have different habits and coping mechanisms that we've employed to deal with the hardships throughout our lives.
Below, three people have shared with us their personal experience of how they commemorated their loved one on the anniversary of their death:
"The first anniversary of Mum’s passing felt heavy, but we wanted it to be about celebrating her life. My siblings and I gathered at the park where we’d planted her cherry tree a few days after the funeral, and it had blossomed beautifully.
"We brought flowers from her garden and shared tea and sandwiches - simple things she would have loved. We told stories, laughed, and let ourselves remember the little things that made her so special. It was bittersweet, but the company of family helped bring comfort, and being surrounded by nature reminded us that she was still with us in spirit."
"We decided to keep Dad’s memory alive by doing something he would’ve enjoyed - a gathering at his favourite pub with close family and his old friends. We raised a glass in his honour, shared memories, and even watched a Colchester United game, the team he supported. It felt strange, knowing he wasn’t there, but being in a place he loved brought a sense of closeness.
"There were tears, of course, but also laughter as we swapped stories of his famous humour and his love for a good pie. It was a day of warmth and friendship, and in that pub, surrounded by familiar faces, it felt like Dad was right there with us."
"When the first anniversary of my sister's passing came around, I found myself needing quiet more than anything. Rather than planning a big gathering or formal tribute, I chose to spend the day at home with just a candle lit beside her photo. I took some time to look through our old photos, listen to her favourite songs, and reflect.
"It was a hard, emotional day, but I didn’t feel ready to face a crowd or even a small gathering. Instead, I called a close friend in the evening, someone who had known her well, and we shared a few memories over the phone. Keeping it simple felt right, and that quiet remembrance was a gentle way to hold onto her memory without feeling overwhelmed."
Sometimes having a few words of comfort from a family or friend can do the world of good when we're grieving or commemorating the death of a loved one. But sometimes knowing what's right to say and what's not right to say can be difficult.
To help you navigate through these difficult waters, here are 10 death anniversary phrases, sayings and words of comfort you can say to your nearest and dearest on the anniversary of a death:
If those death anniversary phrases, sayings and words of comfort aren't enough, below are 10 beautiful quotes on grief and loss, each offering comfort or perspective that can resonate on the anniversary of a death:
If you're struggling or would just like someone to talk to, below are a few helplines that do great work and provide a shoulder to lean on for anyone who needs support:
Samaritans (Call: 116 123) - Free 24/7 support for anyone needing any kind of emotional support
Cruse (Call: 0808 808 1677) - Free helpline supporting those suffering with grief
Veterans UK (Call: 0808 191 4218) - Government-run support organisation providing free support for veterans and their families
Age UK (Call: 0800 678 1602) - The UK's leading charity helping millions of older people with support, companionship and advice
The Silver Line (Call: 0800 470 8090) - Free 24/7 helpline for older people struggling with loneliness, sadness or lowness
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Below are a few further articles that you may find helpful when it comes to remembering and honouring your loved one.
Organising a wake or a memorial service is a meaningful way to honour the memory of a loved one. It allows family and friends to gather, share memories, and offer support to one another during a difficult time. Read more in our article.
Organising a memorial service
As attitudes around funerals evolve, many are considering celebration of life ideas to honour their loved one in different and unique ways. Arrange a funeral that's personalised and celebratory to highlight your loved one's colourful life.
Celebration of life ideas
Planning a personalised memorial service allows you to honour your loved one's unique life and legacy, providing a meaningful opportunity for family and friends to connect, share memories, and find comfort in each other's support during this difficult time.
Memorial service ideasWe offer the highest level of support, but don't just take our word for it. Below are recent reviews from customers who bought a funeral with us.
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