Planning a personalised memorial service allows you to honour your loved one's unique life and legacy, providing a meaningful opportunity for family and friends to connect, share memories, and find comfort in each other's support during this difficult time.
A memorial service, celebration of life, wake or funeral reception - the event following the cremation or burial of the body - goes by a number of different names depending on your culture, religion or nationality.
For this article, we're going to call it a memorial service, and within this piece, we're going to look at what that is, why people have them and explore some memorial service ideas that may give you some inspiration for you or your loved one.
A memorial service is an event, ceremony or happening where we pay tribute to a loved one who has passed away.
This is an occasion that usually happens once the funeral is over. When combined with a direct cremation, the memorial service usually takes place once the ashes have been returned to the family.
A memorial service is an opportunity to say goodbye in whatever unique and personal way you or your loved one would like to, and can therefore be organised as such.
It all depends on what you or your loved one would like to do.
By separating the cremation from the memorial service, families have the freedom to plan something that truly reflects the deceased's personality and preferences. This means you can choose the perfect time and place for a memorial, whether it's a traditional service or a casual gathering.
One of the key benefits of direct cremation is the flexibility in timing. Without the immediate need for a funeral, you can take the time you need to grieve and consider the best way to celebrate your loved one's life. This is especially valuable if you need to accommodate the schedules of distant relatives and friends.
Additionally, direct cremation allows for creative and personalised farewells. Whether you choose to hold a service in a favourite park, a beloved beach, or even at home, you have the freedom to design a fitting tribute that brings comfort and remembrance to all who attend.
A memorial service allows you to say farewell in whichever way you like. There is no tradition to be followed, no ‘right way’ to do it. You can have it after a traditional funeral service, you can have it after an unattended cremation.
It can be more of a reflective or sorrowful occasion, or a happy, upbeat celebration of life if that’s what you and your family would prefer.
We all grieve in different ways and we all want to be thought of in different ways, so the beauty of a memorial service is that there is no uniformity, no set way of doing it.
A memorial service gives you and your family the choice to say goodbye in the way you want.
There are so many different ways you can celebrate or mourn a loved one. Below is not an exhaustive list by any means, you can be as creative as you want to be, but we’ve collated 9 of the most popular events that people choose following a cremation or a burial.
Love a couple of ideas? You could always combine them together. That’s the great thing about a memorial service, you can plan whatever you’d like.
Parties have risen sharply in popularity as post-funeral events in recent years as people look to turn their focus away from sorrow and more towards celebration.
This isn’t for everyone, but if a person has lived a long, fulfilling life, many people are starting to feel that that life should be celebrated - and what better way to do that than with a party?
For some people, the memorial service can become a celebration of life party and can reflect the joyful aspects of the deceased's life, such as their favourite music, their favourite games or their favourite drinks.
This option is particularly great for the deceased who loved to party themselves! “They would’ve loved this!” is often the cry from the attendees.
For someone like Sarah, who was known for her vibrant personality and love for dancing, a party was the perfect way to remember her. The celebration was filled with her favourite music, lively conversations, and the energy that Sarah herself would have brought to any gathering. The event took place at her favourite local bar, where friends and family reminisced about her love for life and shared stories of her contagious laughter. "Sarah was the life of every party, and we knew this was how she'd want us to remember her - with joy, music, and lots of dancing," said her brother, James.
A comfortable family meal at somewhere the deceased used to love is a great choice.
You can reminisce together as a family and share stories about your loved one - you can even reminisce with the restaurant staff if they knew them well!
Or you could have a family meal at someone’s house with a nice gathering enjoying some of your loved one’s favourite dishes.
In honour of their grandmother, Margaret, her family gathered at her favourite Italian restaurant, where she had celebrated countless birthdays and anniversaries. The restaurant staff, who knew her well, joined in sharing memories of her warm smile and love for good food. The family enjoyed her favourite dishes - spaghetti carbonara and tiramisu - while reminiscing about her life. "Gran loved bringing the family together over a meal. We knew that having this dinner in her honour was exactly what she would have wanted," explained her granddaughter, Emma.
A walk to nowhere at all with friends and family, or a walk along somewhere important to the deceased to scatter the ashes at a place of significance is a great way to honour a loved one.
Scattering the ashes at a place of significance is a very popular way of paying respects, and turning the journey to that destination into a pilgrimage of sorts could make it even more special.
If the deceased loved a walk, this could be a great option.
John was an avid hiker who spent his weekends exploring nature trails. To honour his memory, his family organised a walk along his favourite trail, culminating in a peaceful spot overlooking the valley where they scattered his ashes. The walk was a reflective journey, with moments of quiet and shared stories about John’s love for the outdoors. "John found peace in these woods, and it felt right to say our goodbyes here, where he was always happiest," said his wife, Linda.
If the weather’s conducive, an outdoor BBQ could be the perfect way to celebrate or mourn the deceased.
In some households, when the sun’s blazing, you can’t go a few days without having a BBQ.
If that was your loved one, this could be the perfect way to say farewell. It's an informal way to celebrate the deceased's life, in a relaxed environment, surrounded by your nearest and dearest.
Mark was known for his legendary summer BBQs, where he’d grill for hours while chatting with friends and family. To celebrate his life, his family hosted a BBQ in his honour, inviting all his loved ones to enjoy the food he loved cooking. The atmosphere was relaxed, filled with the smell of grilling meats, laughter, and stories about Mark’s famous sense of humour. "Dad’s BBQs were the highlight of every summer. We couldn’t think of a better way to remember him than by gathering everyone together just like he used to," his son, Alex, shared.
We classify a gathering as inviting family and friends to a pub, house, town hall or church hall for a few drinks and a buffet of sorts. You could even venture to the beach if that was significant to your loved one.
These kinds of events are a great way to reflect on the deceased’s passing and share stories, jokes, love, sorrow and happiness together with your nearest and dearest.
Occasions like this can feel very therapeutic and it’s a great way to catch up with loved ones you may not have seen for a long time, despite the sadness of the occasion.
Emily’s friends and family gathered at the local pub where she spent many Friday nights, toasting to her memory with her favourite drink in hand. The informal setting allowed everyone to share stories, laugh, and even shed a few tears as they remembered Emily’s kindness and quick wit. "Emily brought us all together in life, and it feels right to do the same in her memory. This gathering is exactly how she would’ve wanted us to say goodbye," said her best friend, Billy.
Open mic nights are starting to become a little more common as post-funeral events. This could be a wild karaoke night where the guests sing some of the deceased’s favourite songs.
Or you could have a stage set for people to share stories and eulogies about the deceased. This may seem a bit formal for some, but at a busy post-funeral service this could work perfectly, especially if the loved one who passed away had some stories to tell themselves!
David, a passionate musician and storyteller, was honored with an open mic night at his favourite coffee shop. Friends, family, and fellow musicians took turns on stage, playing David’s favourite songs and sharing stories about his life. The night was filled with laughter, tears, and music - just the way David would have loved it. "David lived for music and stories, and we couldn’t imagine a better way to honour his memory than by sharing those with everyone who loved him," his sister, Anna, expressed.
A picnic is always a chilled way to spend a morning or an afternoon.
A farewell doesn’t have to be lively, it doesn’t have to be sorrowful. It can be whatever you’d like it to be.
And a chilled event like a good old picnic could reflect your loved one’s life flawlessly.
For Lily, a lover of the simple pleasures in life, a picnic at her favourite park was the perfect way to say goodbye. Friends and family brought her favourite snacks, spread out on blankets under the trees, and spent the afternoon sharing memories and enjoying the peaceful surroundings. "Lily always loved a quiet day in the park, surrounded by nature and good company. This picnic felt like the perfect tribute to her gentle spirit," said her son, Curtis.
Maybe the deceased was a no fuss kind of person. Maybe they just wanted it over and done with, “I just want you to get on and enjoy your lives”, they might have said.
Well, then there’s always the option of doing nothing at all.
Tom was a man who always lived simply and avoided any fuss. He made it clear he didn’t want a big ceremony or a lot of attention after his passing. Respecting his wishes, his family chose not to have a memorial service. Instead, they spent time quietly reflecting on his life in their own ways. "Dad always said he didn’t want us making a big deal out of things. He just wanted us to remember him in our own time, and that’s exactly what we’re doing," said his daughter, Lisa.
With Distinct Cremations, you can organise a simple unattended direct cremation for your loved one and a personalised memorial service at a venue and time of your choice in a less formal, more relaxed environment.
Whatever you or your loved ones decide upon, the choice is yours, and at Distinct Cremations, we’ll be here to help you choose what’s right, for the lowest price.
Arrange a direct cremation
Want an unattended cremation for yourself or a loved one in the future? You can choose and pay for the funeral in advance with our Unattended Direct Cremation Plan.
Pre-planning now ensures your final farewell is carried out according to your wishes and your loved ones are protected from the emotional and financial burden of arranging a funeral during such a challenging time.
View our funeral plansBelow are a selection of reviews from those who followed their instinct with Distinct and chose to buy a funeral with us.
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