Family led funeral

As more and more people begin to favour a less formalised and traditional funeral, family led funerals are becoming a lot more common. Below we explain exactly what a family led funeral is and how to organise one.

What is a family led funeral?

A family led funeral is a funeral with a service arranged without a funeral director and without a religious leader or celebrant leading the service.

The care, transportation and preparation of the deceased for the funeral is still taken care of by the funeral provider, but the service itself can be organised however the family like. The funeral therefore can be more of a personal affair, and can contain readings, poems, music, hymns or even a video if the venue has audio and visual capabilities.

In recent years, family-led funerals have gained a lot of popularity due to the personal touches that can be added and the cost saving potential.

A family-led funeral allows families to create a deeply meaningful and intimate farewell which reflects the deceased's unique personality and wishes. While handling arrangements themselves, families can avoid the high costs associated with traditional funeral services, making it a more affordable option.

Family led funerals mostly apply to funeral cremations rather than burials, as a burial will almost always need the help of an undertaker.

If you'd like to know how to organise a family led funeral, you can speak to our team on 01543 211997 or read on below.

The difference between a family led funeral with and a traditional funeral

There are a number of stark differences between a family led funeral and a traditional funeral. A family-led funeral is a more personal affair and takes place without a celebrant or religious leader. Whereas a traditional funeral is led by someone apart from the family and usually follows a fixed structure with less room for flexibility.

With both services, the deceased will receive exemplary care, but the day of the funeral will look very different. Below are the differences in more detail:

Cremation with Distinct

A family led funeral with Distinct Cremations

A contemporary, simple, fuss-free farewell, free of tradition

  • An attended cremation
  • A choice to hold the funeral at one of our 40 crematoriums across the UK - all equipped with audio/visual capabilities
  • A service arranged in a way that's personal for you and your family
  • Service led by the family which can include readings, poems and hymns
  • On average 61% cheaper⊛ than a traditional funeral, with prices starting from just £1,599


⊛ 61% saving is based on the cost of a basic funeral at £4,141 (SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2024, sunlife.co.uk/funeral-costs) vs the cost of a Distinct Cremations Intimate Cremation at £1,599

Traditional Funeral

Traditional funeral

A fixed format funeral, with a set service

  • A set format 20-50 minute service held in a traditional setting like a church or chapel with mourners present
  • Led by a religious leader or celebrant with a fixed service
  • Option to have a procession with a hearse and limousines
  • Service coordination from a funeral director on the day
  • Costs on average £4,141# for a basic funeral






    # The average cost of a basic, funeral in 2023 (SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2024, sunlife.co.uk/funeral-costs)

How can I arrange a family led funeral

Below is a step by step process of how to arrange a family led funeral, right from the moment a loved one has died right through to the day of the cremation.

  1. Contact a funeral provider
    Whether a loved one has died or they're receiving end of life care, it's best to contact a funeral provider as early as possible so you can start to get arrangements in place.

    Though you can arrange a funeral yourself, it's much easier to let a funeral provider carry out the logistics of the funeral for you.

    This includes collection of the deceased, care at the mortuary facility, and transportation of the deceased to the crematorium.

  2. Complete the funeral paperwork
    Before a cremation can be booked you will first need to register the death and complete the obligatory legal paperwork.

    At Distinct Cremations, we can help you with the paperwork should you need any assistance.

  3. Choose a crematorium, date and service
    Once the paperwork is completed, the funeral provider you're speaking to will be able to give you some dates, crematorium and service options.

    From here, the funeral provider can book the cremation for you and organise the transportation of the deceased.

  4. Arrange the service
    You will now be able to arrange a service that's personal to you.

    First start by inviting your guests, then think about how you'd like the service to look. Maybe you'd like some music to be played to begin and end the service, and you may like some readings and poems dotted throughout. All of our crematoriums have audio/visual capabilities too, so you may like to play a video or a slide show of images.

    If you'd like any help or you'd like to know what's possible, you can speak to our team on 01543 211997 at any time of the day.

  5. The cremation
    On the day of the cremation, the deceased is respectfully prepared, placed in the coffin and rested on the raised platform. Family members will gather inside the chapel to say their final goodbyes, share memories, and conduct personal rituals or readings in whatever way the family chooses. Following the family-led activities, the coffin is respectfully transferred to the cremation chamber for the actual cremation process. The ashes will then be hand-delivered to the family or scattered according to their wishes.

    At our crematoriums, there will be a chapel attendant present to make sure the day runs smoothly.

Get in touch

Want more information? We're happy to answer any questions you may have about our cremations over the phone, or you can request a free guide for details about what we offer.

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Want to talk through our options? If you have questions or would like some in-person support we’re just a call away.

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Get a free guide

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Need some time to digest the details? You can download a PDF of our guide online or get a printed copy posted out.

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What's included in a family led funeral?

A family-led funeral with Distinct Cremations offers a personalised and intimate way to say goodbye to a loved one. This service allows families to take charge of the farewell, allowing them to create a unique and meaningful tribute.

From arranging a private gathering at the crematorium's chapel to personalising the ceremony with readings, music, and rituals, a family-led funeral ensures that every aspect reflects the deceased's life and the family's wishes.

Below, you'll find a detailed list of what's included in our family-led funeral service, designed to support and guide you through this heartfelt process.

What's included from £1,599

  • A choice of 8 or 20 attendees
  • A 10 or 20 minute family-led early morning service
  • Collection of the deceased from a hospital or coroner's mortuary on weekdays in office hours (8am - 6pm)
  • Care at our state-of-the-art professional mortuary
  • Removal of artificial mechanisms, pacemakers and medical implants
  • Preparation of the deceased for cremation
  • Help with all legal and cremation paperwork
  • 24/7 support from our customer service team
  • Transport of the deceased via private ambulance
  • Respectful and dignified cremation at your choice of Westerleigh crematorium
  • Chapel attendant's presence and support
  • A simple coffin
  • Choice of cremation date and time from a selection of early morning services
  • Ashes scattered in our crematorium remembrance gardens or personally hand delivered within 14 days
  • Temporary ashes container for easy scattering

What to consider when planning a family led funeral

Planning a family-led funeral allows you to create a deeply personal and meaningful farewell for your loved one. Here are some key considerations to help you plan a smooth and respectful service:

Timings

Decide on the duration of the service and allocate time for each element, such as speeches, readings, and moments of silence.

Music

Choose music that was meaningful to the deceased or that sets the desired tone for the service. Consider when and how it will be played.

Readings

Select poems, readings, or religious texts that reflect the personality and beliefs of the deceased. Decide who will read them.

Opening & Closing

Plan how to start and end the service. You might want to open with a welcome message and close with a final farewell or prayer.

Attendees

Decide who will be involved in the service and what roles they will play, such as delivering eulogies or leading prayers.

Personal touches

Incorporate personal touches like displaying photos, sharing stories, or including symbolic gestures that honour the deceased’s life.

Ready to arrange a funeral?

If you need to organise a funeral now, we are open 24/7 and will make all the arrangements from taking the deceased into our care and completing all the paperwork. Your customer service specialists will liaise with you to make arrangements for the cremation and keep you updated.

Call us now on 01543212000

What to do when someone dies

Before someone dies, getting an understanding of what to do when someone dies, can help to ease the stress and confusion that you may face. Here's a handy checklist that will be of help with the legal requirements and the overall logistics for when the time comes.

Download a free checklist

Here at Distinct Cremations, we have created a free checklist for you to download which lets you know what you need to do when someone dies.

Download our checklist below or speak to our expert team on 01543 211997 today

Download free checklist

Further alternatives to a traditional funeral

These days, there are many alternatives to a traditional funeral. This can be something like an unattended, direct cremation which is a cremation without a funeral. A private cremation, which has a small funeral service. Or a natural burial which is an environmentally friendly alternative.

Here are a few alternatives you may like to consider if you or your loved one aren't interested in having a traditional funeral.

Unattended cremation

Cremation without a funeral

An unattended cremation or direct cremation, now favoured by 20% of the UK population*, has quickly become the most popular alternative. They take place without mourners or a funeral service. After the cremation the family has the option to host a memorial service.

Many like the idea of an unattended cremation because it allows the family to have a memorial service which is separate from the cremation itself.

* SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2024, sunlife.co.uk/funeral-costs

More about unattended cremations

Natural burial

Tree pod burial

Natural burials are a type of green funeral which are fast becoming a popular choice to an alternative funeral as people become more environmentally aware. A natural burial, occasionally referred to as a woodland burial or green burial, is where the deceased is buried at a green burial site in a natural coffin or shroud.

A green burial site is often in a forest, meadow or wooded area. Currently in the UK, these aren’t especially common. However, they are increasing in availability as demand increases.

More about green funerals

Water cremation

Water Cremation

Otherwise known as a resomation or aquamation, a water cremation is not currently available in the UK, but is popular in other parts of the world. With a water cremation, the body is placed in a pressurised tank and pressed into powder. It is an environmentally friendlier alternative to a traditional cremation.

In the same way as the ashes are returned to the family following a traditional cremation, the powder can also be returned to the deceased following a resomation.

More about funeral alternatives

Other helpful articles

Below are a few further articles that you may be interested in with regards to organising a funeral.

Arrange a funeral

Sue2

At Distinct Cremations, we provide no fuss funerals which are simple to arrange, affordable and delivered with care, dignity and respect. Prices start from just £1,199 if you need to arrange a funeral today.

Arrange a funeral

Cremation or burial?

Wooden coffin with a bouquet of funeral flowers laid on top

Whether you’re planning ahead or supporting a loved one in their time of need, the choice between a cremation or burial can be a complex one with many factors to consider. We explain more in our article.

Cremation or burial

What our customers say about us

We offer the highest level of support, but don't just take our word for it. Below are recent reviews from customers who bought a funeral with us.

4.9/5
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4.9/5
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Anonymous, on Feefo 20 Nov 2024
Great smooth service. Always keep you up to date and carried out my Dad’s wishes exactly how he wanted.
Susan Constable, on Feefo 13 Nov 2024
We have purchased these, it gives peace of mind for your children to know everything is sorted.
Margaret McCluskey, on Google 12 Nov 2024
The people at Distinct Cremations were all so kind and very helpful. They always had answers for all of my questions. I received my partners ashes when they were promised with a half hours notice before they were actually delivered, which was nice.
Anonymous, on Feefo 12 Nov 2024
None of the family (or wider circle of friends) had experienced this type of service prior to this occasion. Kerry Ludlow was so helpful & kind during such a difficult & emotional time. The whole process went really really smoothly & was exactly as we had hoped for. Kerry’s help with the paperwork & suggestions, we hadn’t thought of, was very very much appreciated. At such difficult times, it’s hard to make decisions & think of things, but we were all so very grateful for the care offered & given. The crematorium at SirHowy was very peaceful, with lovely open spaces. Anna our chapel attendant on the day was also very very lovely & so kind, as was the gentleman (I’m so sorry we didn’t take or remember his name) who assisted us when we collected our Dad’s ashes. The whole process went so smoothly, please pass on our gratitude to Kerry, Anna & everyone concerned. Thank you very very much .
Anonymous, on Feefo 11 Nov 2024
I am deeply grateful to the staff at Distinct Cremations for their kindness and compassion during this process. From start to finish, they handled every detail with great care and respect, giving my husband a beautiful farewell. Also a special thank you to Sarah Miller for her professionalism and care. Their support and gentle guidance provided immense comfort, and I truly appreciate their dedication to making this experience as smooth and meaningful as possible. Thank you for helping me honor his memory with dignity and peace." Mrs G padfield
Anonymous, on Feefo 10 Nov 2024
Team Distinct Cremation especially Kerry for making this difficult time for us easier you meet all our needs Thankyou so much for your support.
Elizabeth Byrne, on Feefo 9 Nov 2024
Courteous service from start to end. All questions were answered promptly. It was very reassuring to know that my friend was in good hands and I didn't need to do anything until his ashes were returned to me.
Rory Mullins, on Google 9 Nov 2024
I recently lost my sister and Distinct Cremations were fantastic. I dealt with one lady all the time and she provided great support and updated me all the time. Cannot praise her enough.
4.9/5
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4.9/5
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